I think that the most powerful tool in running a B&B, or any business for that matter, is the ability to solve problems. But it goes farther than that, it’s the WANTING to solve problems. Problems are everywhere in life and business, sometimes they get solved and sometimes they don’t but it’s my experience that most people just don’t go that extra mile to find a complete solution, not just a “band-aid” or a “good enough”, but really fixing the problem so that’s it’s done, finished, gone, kaput. A lot of people settle for what appears to be OK; not me, my type-A tendencies would never allow such mediocrity, I rarely ever settled for any solutions that were worthy of less than an enthusiastic fist pump or high-five. It’s my opinion that I’m just a fixer and that’s that.
I guess Freud might say I had some unresolved issues of needing to be acknowledged by my parents or something eye-rolling like that but before you say Ah-ha!, let me tell ya you’re wrong, that’s not me, I had plenty of attention as a kid, probably more than I needed, especially since in the sea of 3 brothers I was the only girl. Come to think of it, because I was a bit willful growing up, I bet I got more attention than any of my brothers, who were very well-behaved and very well-applied compared to their alien sister.
Getting back to my point, when complications came up at the B&B (and they always did lol) I tried to remain calm and get to a rational fix as quickly as possible. I was being paid for the lodging and the services included in that contract so I just felt like if someone wasn’t happy with some aspect of their stay, I was obligated to go that extra mile to correct the negative and turn their frown upside-down (gag-worthy expression alert!). Some people are just assholes and you’re never going to make them happy but, for the most part, if you want to do right by your guests, you’re probably already well on your way to solving the problem. If I’ve completely lost you at this point, you’re probably not a fixer, maybe you’re more of “band-aider” or a “good-enougher”.
I find that my drive to fix problems extends to my personal life also. If a friend has a problem I almost always want to help, offer to help, just plain help or think up as many possible fixes that I can. It’s what friends do for each other isn’t it? We want our friends to be happy right? Well, the best way to do that for them is to try to help them solve their problems and then, when we have a drama, we can call them up to vent and hope they’ll have a fix for our problems too. “Quid pro quo, Clarise!”, as Dr. Lecter infamously burned into our minds forever.
I think the biggest problem about being a fixer is that many other people are not fixers and those who are just aren’t really going to go the long-haul with those who aren’t. I was chatting with my favorite venting friend about this a couple of days ago as we compared “good friends vs. crappy friends” stories. It seems that we have both experienced the latter examples lately and, independent of each other, we both decided that maybe life is too short to invest too much time in the “good-enough” friendships, and we both were actually loosening those ties to what were long-term but undeniably one-direction friendships and just move on.
Surprising, isn’t it? That we both had the same realization at the same time… that we both looked at these friendships and said to ourselves, “I’m not investing any more in these relationships and I can’t fix it without some input from the other parties”. While I pondered this point, I realized that she was a fixer too. She had owned an operated a business very similar to mine – retail, with a huge element of customer service required. As I think back over the 25 years that I knew her as the proprietor of this business I remember how she learned that she couldn’t pay someone to do that job for her; many managers were hired and most failed. Inevitably, she had to do it herself because nobody was going to be able to do it better than she could. She spent hours and weeks and years working on ways to improve her sales, social media reach and business standing and she RARELY settled for a “band-aid”. Even after she sold that business, she continued to help the new owner run it for over a year! Talk about a fixer, no wonder we’re friends lol!
In the long-term, fixers/doers are compatible with their same kind and that’s it, no exceptions. The good-enoughers will just suck us dry as the balance of things will keep us feeding them until we wake up and cut them loose. It’s kind of a sad realization but it’s true; like minds stick together. It’s not about successes or failures but more about fulfilment within either of those; they can both be fulfilling if you take away something from them that makes you better. Friendships, business, sports & recreation time should all bring some sense of fulfilment, achievement or just even some bit of enjoyment otherwise it’s just a means to an end, isn’t it? Suddenly it’s just “good enough” and that, my friends, aint good enough for this kid.
So, what’s the moral of this story? I think it’s pretty simple – Life is short so make it better than good enough. I know for my part I’m going to be a lot more conscious of how and with whom I share my valuable time and energy… and I’m going to spend a lot more of it on fulfilling exercises like this one (and golf lol)!
Have a perfectly fabulous weekend and I hope to see you back here again!
s.